


would you be so kind?

by riveatstoes



Series: south park/dodie clark [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Based on a dodie Song, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23960212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riveatstoes/pseuds/riveatstoes
Summary: Butters Stotch has been in love with Kenny McCormick for as long as he could remember. But when he doesn’t return his affection, it pushes him to the extreme.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Bebe Stevens, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch
Series: south park/dodie clark [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727422
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	would you be so kind?

**Author's Note:**

> TW - murder, blood & insanity

_i have a question.  
it might seem strange.  
how are your lungs?  
are they in pain? _

It was a snowy winter day in Denver, Colorado, not odd for the town where Kenny and I were attending community college. The arrangement was just perfect for us, seeing as Denver was just outside of our quiet mountain town of South Park.

The both of us went to that college because we both wanted to start simple. And also because, at the moment, Kenny’s parents could barely afford community college, and really he shouldn’t have been able to go there. But thankfully, Token’s family pitched in and helped him out.

As for me, I wanted to be a school teacher. I love being around children; they remind me of how I used to be when I was their age.

We were only so far into the first year, and already the both of us were tired, not just of the never-ending piles of homework we had to complete, but also because there was an undying tension between us when we would pass each other in the hallway of our shared apartment, and neither of us understood why that tension was there.

Well, maybe I did, actually.

Ever since the fourth grade, I had some more-than-friendly feelings for my friend. At first, I ignored them because I thought that, since I was ten, I was only confused about how I felt. However, when eighth grade came around, the feelings resurfaced, and I had started to notice all of the amazing things that Kenny did, and how he was the only one who ever listened to me.

_‘cause mine are aching.  
think i know why.  
i kinda like it, though.  
you wanna try? _

I decided to push the feelings aside once again, telling myself that there were more important things to worry about. That lasted all through high school. Now, though, I knew we only had just under two years left together. After community college, Kenny planned on going back to South Park and getting a decent job there, and I wanted to attend a bigger college to get my Bachelors, so it would be two years that we wouldn’t see each other.

I might as well go for it now, right?

Sweating nervously, I walked down the hallway to Kenny’s room. I almost backed out of it when my fist was about to hit the door and knock, but I didn’t, and soon, I heard Kenny’s voice telling me to come in. So I did.

Then, I sat down on his bed, causing him to look up at me from his phone, another thing that Token had gotten for him. They were good friends, seeing as they were two of the only ones with decent morals. 

I sighed. Was I really going through with this? Was I really going to tell the guy that I had liked since the fourth grade that I liked him? What if he rejected me? What if me doing this made him hate me? What if—

“What’s up?”

“I- Uh- Just wanted to say- erm- hi?”

He smiled the tiniest bit, “Hi. Now what did you actually come in here for? Nobody just walks into someone’s room just to say hi to them.”

My confidence came back briefly, and I decided that it was now or never. So I told him everything; how long I’ve liked him, how much he means to me, all of that fun stuff. And I ended it by asking him if he’d want to go out sometime.

_oh, would you be so kind,  
as to fall in love with me?  
you see, i’m trying.  
i know you know that i like you,  
but that’s not enough.  
so if you will, please fall in love. _

Gradually, Kenny’s smile dropped. I knew very well that that meant this wasn’t going to go in my direction, so I started to apologize and stand up, but he stopped me, “No, no, Leo—It’s not that I don’t like you, but,” he mumbled, “I have a girlfriend.”

“What?”

“Yeah...we’ve been together since senior year, dude. I like her a whole lot, and I couldn’t just abandon her.”

I held back tears of betrayal, “Why didn’t you tell me? Or anyone, for that matter? Nobody knew that you were dating anyone, they all thought you were single!”

“We didn’t want judgement, because the last time something like this happened, a.k.a. Cartman and Heidi getting back together junior year, they were both judged. It was dumb, I know; I’m not like Cartman, but we didn’t want that.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Pardon?”

“Who? It’s one of the girls from highschool, from Wendy’s group. Who is it?”

“Oh! Uh...”

I waited, growing slightly agitated at this whole situation. Not just at Kenny, but at myself for thinking I ever had a chance.

“Bebe.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t take it personally. Like I said, if I wasn’t with her, I would say yes, but I can’t just ditch her like that. She’s actually really nice and really smart. I call her when I need help with my homework or if I need someone to talk to and you’re gone. I just...hope we can still be friends? Like we were?”

I painted on a fake smile, “Of course,” and then I walked to the door. As I left, I told him, “I love you, Ken. No homo, though, I guess.”

_i think it’s only fair.  
there’s gotta be some  
butterflies somewhere.   
wanna share?  
’cause i like you,  
but that’s not enough.  
so if you will, please fall in love,   
with me. _

As I stared at myself in the mirror that night, I wondered what made Bebe better than me. Was it only that she got Kenny before I did? Or was there something else? Was it something that only girls could possess that made Kenny not want to leave her? Or maybe I just wasn’t good enough and he was trying to put the situation down easily.

It wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Professor Chaos is making his comeback,” I said to myself, “And tonight, he’s going to actually do something that changes things.”

—

That next morning, I made us breakfast and we sat down on the couch. We didn’t have classes at the time, so I turned on the tv, allowing us to simply chill for the morning. The channel the tv was on was the news.

“In other news, a nineteen-year-old college student, Bebe Stevens, was found dead in her house this morning. She is said to have been stabbed to dea—”

Kenny shut off the tv.

He stood up, turning away from me. I stood up as well.

“Oh, no.” I said quietly, not even bothering to look at his face. I knew he was scared. I knew he was probably going to come to me for comfort. Why? Because he had no one else. All of our friends were out of town, and he couldn’t call Bebe, due to...recent circumstances.

“Butters, what the hell did you do?”

“Me?! Why do you think I would do something like that?!”

“Oh, so it’s just a coincidence that my girlfriend gets murdered the night I reject you because of her? It’s just a coincidence that she was the only person keeping us from becoming a couple?”

_let’s write a story.  
be in my book.  
you’ve got to join me on my page.  
at least take a look. _

“Yeah, basically! I would never do something like that, and you know it!” I calmed down for a bit, knowing that if I was calm he wouldn’t be as suspicious of me, “Look, I get it, you’re upset, but I wouldn’t do it.”

He seemed to calm down as well, “You’re right. But how in the world would it line up like this? Who would have something so bad against her that it would drive them to kill her? Why did it have to be my girlfriend?”

“I don’t know, Ken. But,” a wicked smirk spread across my face, “this means something.” By now, Kenny was full-on in tears, but I must’ve been blind back then. Hell, I know I was blind back then.

“W-what?”

“It means we can be together. She’s gone, is she not? I distinctly remember you saying that her existence was the only thing stopping us from dating.”

He looked at me as if I was insane, which I without a doubt was, “What the hell, dude?! My fucking girlfriend just got murdered! Have some human decency, man!”

My smirk didn’t fade, “I get it, you need some time to process it. I’m gonna go on a walk, I’ll be back soon,” I headed towards the door, and as my hand gripped the handle, I said, “Just think about it. I’m more-than-deserving of some love right now. So are you.”

And with that, I left. I didn’t know where I was going. Maybe I didn’t need to. Maybe I just needed some time to process what I had done, process the crazy night that was prior.

_oh, where are your manners?  
you need some time?  
let’s swap chests today.  
that might help you decide. _

I remember sneaking through her bedroom window, which she had stupidly left open. It was almost as if she was asking to be killed. I also remember the empty look in her eyes after the deed was done, and the dark red ooze surrounding the wound. It was something that would only make an insane man pleased, which was okay.

I was more than crazy.

But I did it for Kenny. And if he couldn’t appreciate that, it was his own loss. I would go to hell and back for him. I deserved it. After all I’ve gone through, I deserved to at least get to be with him. He was all I wanted.

I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him. I deserved him.

_oh, would you be so kind,  
as to fall in love with me?  
you see, i’m trying.  
i know you know that i like you,  
but that’s not enough.  
so if you will, please fall in love._

_i think it’s only fair.  
there’s gotta be some  
butterflies somewhere.   
wanna share?  
’cause i like you,  
but that’s not enough.  
so if you will, please fall in love   
with me. _

I continued to tell myself that all the way through my walk, but the more I repeated “I deserved him,” the more untrue it sounded. I’m not entitled to a human being. That’s wrong. What I did was wrong. 

I am wrong.

My pace kept growing and growing until I was walking at a subtle jog, as if I was being chased, as if someone knew what I had done. I kept looking over my shoulder, but nobody was ever there. The thought of calling someone crossed my mind for a second, but I didn’t do it in fear that I would let what I did slip.

Eventually, I found myself at the Denver police station. I didn’t know why I chose to go there of all places, but that’s where I ended up. I entered the building, immediately feeling intimidated by the much bigger cops. I was only nineteen, and I wasn’t the tallest person for my age, so they, in my eyes, were scary as all hell.

I walked up to the desk, suddenly realizing what I was there for, “Excuse me?”

The cop behind the counter raised a brow, “What do you want kid? Wanna report somethin’ or what?” He spoke with a slight New York/New Jersey accent, which threw me off due to his appearance not indicating that that’s what he would sound like.

“Not...really? I just had a question.”

“Shoot.”

“What happens to someone if they get caught for murder?” I asked.

He seemed confused as to why a kid like me would ask such a question. But still, he answered, “Well, if it was a first degree murder, as in it was a planned ordeal, then at minimum, it can cause a life sentence in prison, and at maximum, it can lead to the death penalty.”

_oh, do me a favor:  
can your heart rate rise a little?  
do me a favor:  
can your heart rate rise a little?  
oh, do me a favor:  
can your heart rate rise a little?  
do me a favor... _

“Thank you, I was just wondering...” I slowly backed out, the policeman watching me the entire time I did. And as I walked back to Kenny and I’s apartment, I thought about how much I had hurt him by killing Bebe. If I really loved him, I would’ve known that he was happy. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive.

When I got back, I knew what I was gonna do: I was going to tell him. And then? I was going to turn myself in. Maybe I would get lucky and they’d give me the life sentence, and maybe if I was extra, extra good they’d let me out for good behavior. I knew they wouldn’t, though. They don’t let people as messed up as me out early.

“Kenny, I gotta confess something.”

“Wh-what?”

“I did it,” I said, preparing for the utter hatred Kenny would express after he knew, “I killed her. I killed Bebe.”

“You...you WHAT?!”

My legs gave out, and I fell to my knees, “I-I just thought that-that if I g-g-got rid of her, we could be together! I lied to you, Ken, and I hurt you s-s-so-so much. I’m so sorry!”

_oh, would you be so kind,  
as to fall in love with me? _

“It’s okay,” Kenny said.

“Wh-what? What do you mean ‘it’s okay’?”

“It’s okay because...I lied, too. I wanted to let you down easy, so I said that if it weren’t for her, I’d date you. But in reality, I’m straighter than a ruler, Bunny. I heard you leaving last night, and I saw you come back with blood-stained clothes. I knew you did it. So...I called the police while you were gone.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Kenny walked over, stepping over my shivering self, and opened it, revealing three officers, led by the one I had seen behind the counter at the station.

_you see, i’m trying.  
i know you know that i like you,  
but that’s not enough.   
so if you will, please fall in love... _

“I knew you seemed suspicious,” the cop said, picking me up by the arm and immediately putting me in handcuffs. The feeling was strange, but I knew that I deserved it for what I had done. I wasn’t innocent, and I sure as hell didn’t deserve Kenny as much as I thought I did.

They carried me out of the house and back to the Denver P.D. And this time, I knew I wasn’t going to get out. It was over. I was over. My life was over. It would all be spent behind bars; there was no point.

But then I woke up.

The time was 4:37 in the morning. The day was August 7th, 2025, also known as my first day on the job as a teacher for South Park Elementary, the school that I had attended. Everything was how it was when I went there; Mr. Mackey was still the counselor, PC Principal and Strong Woman were still in charge. I knew this because I got to spend a day there when I was first hired back in the end of May.

I was nervous, and when I get nervous, I have nightmares. The truth was that the night I asked Kenny out really did happen, except when I asked for real, he was single and very, very bisexual. We’ve been dating for six years, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

“You okay, Bunny?” Kenny asked, having woken up when I jumped awake from my nightmare. I nodded, not wanting to worry him with my issues. Everything would be alright. Because, according to Kenny himself, I deserved him, and he deserved me. We deserved each other.

_i think it’s only fair.  
there’s gotta be some  
butterflies somewhere.   
wanna share?_

_’cause i like you,  
but that’s not enough.  
so if you will, please fall in love._

_oh, i like you,  
but that’s not enough.  
so if you will, please fall in love   
with me. _


End file.
